Sep. 6, 2017


"I've never met someone
Who has so much zest
For life."
"Say what?!"
"Don't you remember that
You brought me here,
To the sand you abhor -
As an intervention
Mid-winter because
I did not know
Why I should make the effort
To breath cause it just
hurts too much -
And it is work to even
Get out of bed.
"Yes, I hear you BUT -"
A big BUTT - my own - blocks my view till another glimpse of what may be TRUE -
A week later on snow filled walk -
"I'm not suicidal but can you tell me one truth about why
I need to remain in this body - In this form cause - " 

and he replies
"Cause right now -
Spirit wants to watch the sunset through your eyes" ...
Wow, that felt REAL.
And could it be?
BUT is that enough?
Is that a productive use of space on this planet?
A necessary?
A contribution to humanity with no paycheck but infinite worth?
And now it's the end of summer -
In space of a few days -
Two children, a speaker, a lifeguard, a cashier, a librarian, Spirit - used the word FUN, describing me?!
"BUT you don't really know - me -
- intense, deep, abstract, outofthebox, serious, sad, different, very different, clumsy, notverypractical, creative, alwaysthinking, skywatching, pianoplayin', lapswimmin', showersingin', everyonefeelin',
real, sensitive, too sensitive -
not FUN?!
BUT could it be? -
That I am all of those adjectives -
Plus one more seriously impossible one too - - fun?
Could it be that - "JOY is FUN!"?
I guess I agree,
I say yes,
I believe,
I be true loved me
I be love, be live -
And even in grief,
I'll add one to the mix of me-
So if I don't mind that I often am
The punch line in divine jokes
And the straight man in
Spirit's constant comedic stand-up monologue -
That I actually get to
"Entertain" Angels,
be a reason that others,
Stop and pause -
"Is she for real?"
And discover
That laughter truly
Is GOOD medicine
That decimates
Fear's illusions,
Imprisoning lies.
Yes, I guess
I will add one more adjective -
One more necessary
reason to be me -